My Tennis Match Experience

The other day I was thinking about the last few months and about how God prepares me during this time of Advent. Thinking of all the little things He has tossed my way this last few months I had an image of a tennis match. I know, it sounds crazy, but here goes..

Here's what I saw..God on one side, me on the other. A nice, friendly game, right God! :) I'm not much of an athlete, let alone a tennis player, and I think a backhand is something I got for talking back to Dad...

Anyhow, the ball starts heading my way..we go back and forth a bit..God is not a power server. He's content to lob it on over to my side. So I get a little more confident..a little more cocky with each successful return. Score: Love - Love

This is too easy. This lobbing back and forth..I want more than this! I wanna put some spin on the ball! I start to listen to the murmur of the crowd..they are watching..this match between me and God. Me? and God? And hey, I'm in this? I haven't lost yet..I did pay a lot of money for this fancy skirt and bouncy shoes...and what the heck..I'll just take a peek at the crowd..see if they are watching me or Him...

Wha??? Hey?!?!? I missed one. He's not lobbing anymore. They are coming faster. I can't keep up. I look at the score board. I look at the crowd..their faces are knowing. I'm sweating. God is standing there waiting for me to hit the ball back to Him..but now, when I serve, it's heading to the side court. I'M NOT PLAYING HIM! No Way! I'll lose for sure! Wait! I want to play God! The other player smiles. That's why you are playing me, He says.

I look back towards God..Then I realize that when I was paying attention to what God was lobbing at me, when I kept my "eye on the ball" that he was sending over we had a good game. The score was tied..Love-Love..huh?

Love-Love..He lobbed it over, I returned it..Love - Love. It was good. Not that it was easy..God is no push over, there were some corner shots, but with my eye on the ball and my head in the game, I could make a successful return.

This Advent season has taught me to keep my eye on the ball, so to speak. Stay focused on God. I don't know if makes any sense, just some random thoughts about Advent. I liked the score, Love-Love.

Exam Time

We went to a local Penance service last night, it was beautiful. Wonderful (and so very grateful) to see so many priests who came to hear our confessions. The church was packed. Another wonderful thing to see. We were there for two hours and it felt so good to stand in line, knowing the graces of the Sacrament that would come. I felt like the lady waiting in line for "Obama" money..

"Ma'am, what are you here for?"
"Some grace!"
"Whose gonna give it to you?"
"God!"
"Where'd He get it?"
"I don't know! His Stash!"

Father Corapi has a very good examination of conscience..

“Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment…..For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God….His conscience is man’s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths” (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1776).

Most Catholics understand that it is necessary to make a good examination of conscience before they receive the sacrament of Penance. If you don’t examine your conscience properly you obviously can’t make a good confession. Today in the world of noise, both interior as well as exterior, this needs to be stressed very emphatically. Often the voice of conscience, which is very akin to the very voice of God, comes as a still tiny whisper, not a loud and obvious sound. In order to hear such a whisper we need to preserve a certain holy silence at times.

As the Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us in paragraph 1779, “It is important for every person to be sufficiently present to himself in order to hear and follow the voice of conscience. This requirement of interiority is all the more necessary as life often distracts us from any reflection, self-examination, or introspection: Return to your conscience, question it….Turn inward, brethren, and in everything you do, see God as your witness. (St. Augustine).”

I am convinced that the world of constant noise is a major contributing factor to the tidal wave of sin we have experienced in recent generations. If the voice of conscience is drowned out by a million loud and distracting sounds and concerns, then sin is facilitated. This noise is not merely external sounds: radio, television, I Pods, talk, talk, talk, etc., but also the interior “noise” that most contemporary people suffer from. “Be still and know that I am God,” is something we would do well to remember. More..

Advent Prep

Archbishop Fulton Sheen on Temptation.

It's the end of the world as we know it...

as the season of Advent should be. The Gospel today speaks about signs and tribulations. Be on guard, lest the hour come and you are not ready.

Just another theme for a Hollywood blockbuster? I think not.

This Advent season be sure your soul is ready. Get to confession. The gift of reconciliation with God is waiting for you.

Would folks get up at 2 am in the morning to get in line for such a gift as their eternal life? It's not free. It's priceless.

Listen! The Lord is calling you. Prepare your hearts! Stay awake and prepare the way of the Lord!

Thoughts And Prayers

What if...

it were your brother on the street
it were your mother or father in the hospital
it were your friends who were hungry
it were your sister who is a drug addict
if was your neighbor, who could not feed their children
it was your best friend, whose marriage was on the rocks
it was a baby out in the cold all night
it was a family member in jail
it was you, whose husband lost his job
it was you, whose home was being foreclosed
it was you, whose children were in need
it was you, who was lonely
it was your family who sleeps in the car
it was your family who eats at the soup kitchen
it was your family who was in need
it was you, who was losing hope

Would it be easier to give? Would it be easier to understand the needs of others? Would it be easier to reach out? Would it be easier to love?

My heart is full of all that I cannot do for others, and I cry out to the Lord, "I am only one, weak and imperfect. Yet, because of your mercy, Lord, I am confident to call on You. O my Jesus, I seek not to fulfill my own wants and desires, but the desires of others, to glorify Your name. You have given to me all that I need. You have left for me the Bread of Life. You have hidden Yourself in a tiny white host and You nurture me with the incomprehensible mystery of it. I empty myself out before You. In Your great Mercy You lower Yourself to my littleness. O how I long to serve You Lord. My Jesus, I love you!"

I felt called to post this intimate prayer today. The birth of Our Lord is upon us. The excitement of this moment is overwhelming me. Thinking about receiving Our Lord on Christmas is causing me so much joy that I think my heart may explode. To hold Him within me for but a moment will be excruciating bliss.

Music on My Mind

I went to bed and woke up this morning with this song in my head.

Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.
When I was hungry, you gave me to eat
When I was thirsty, you gave me to drink
When I was homeless, you opened your door
When I was naked, you gave me your coat
When I was weary, you helped me find rest
When I was anxious, you calmed all my fears
When in a prison, you came to my cell
When on a sick-bed, you cared for my needs
When I was laughed at, you stood by my side
When I was happy you shared in my joy

Now enter into the home of My Father
Whatsoever you do, to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.

"Without love, deeds, even the most brilliant, count as nothing." - St. Therese
Story of a Soul, Chapter VIII

St. Therese of the child Jesus and The Holy Face, ora pro nobis.

Guest Blogger - Margaret

I have known Margaret for years and years. Recently, she asked if she could share something with my blog readers and, of course, I said yes. Thanks for this beautiful piece Margie.

A bit about Margaret,

41 years old, mother of three, married 15 years, Catholic. I was a cafeteria Catholic for many years and rediscovered this gift in my thirties. I have learned patience from this journey back to Christ. I have learned to earn it. It is worth the time - something we really do have so little of. If I make it Heaven I envision that I will stand before Jesus and He will reach out His arms and hug me like a long lost child. Happy to have me home.


St Teresa of Avila

The Interior Castle is a contemplative view of the soul through the lens of sincere prayer. It can be a tough read and requires concentration and focus. I have picked it up and put and down for months now. Taking it in bit by bit has had a powerful impact on the way I view my self and my soul. Teresa envisioned the soul as "a castle made of a single diamond . . . in which there are many rooms, just as in Heaven there are many mansions."

"Let us now imagine that this castle, as I have said, contains many mansions, some above, others below, others at each side; and in the centre and midst of them all is the chiefest mansion where the most secret things pass between God and the soul. You must think over this comparison very carefully; perhaps God will be pleased to use it to show you something of the favours which He is pleased to grant to souls..."

"Many souls remain in the outer court of the castle, which is the place occupied by the guards; they are not interested in entering it, and have no idea what there is in that wonderful place, or who dwells in it, or even how many rooms it has. You will have read certain books on prayer which advise the soul to enter within itself: and that is exactly what this means.

...the door of entry into this castle is prayer and meditation: I do not say mental prayer rather than vocal, for, if it is prayer at all, it must be accompanied by meditation.

She goes on to describe the state of the soul in mortal sin and the darkness that surrounds the castle as one enters it for the first time.

This is where I come in with my personal story to share about this journey to my Interior Castle.

Meditating seems like an impossible task for some people. It was for me. I had difficulty concentrating and turning off the thoughts in my mind. Repetitive prayer is very helpful - especially when it is heard externally - a CD with music or Mother Angelica on EWTN reciting the Rosary. The repetition and even tone of the voice helps to center my thoughts and allows me to visualize the meditations. This is a very powerful form of prayer that allows you to put yourself into the meditation. I often meditate to the Rosary and visualize myself somewhere in the moment. For instance, one of my most powerful meditations is visualizing myself kneeling next to Jesus as he suffers in the garden of Gethsemane. I cry with him, I feel His suffering and I can't do anything to relieve it but to be there with Him and experience His emotional pain. I envision reaching up and touching His foot as He hangs on the cross.

This visualization is actual - I mean that I do not change who I am in the moment. I wear the same clothes as present time, etc., - In essence - I am myself.

"As I see it, we shall never succeed in knowing ourselves unless we seek to know God: let us think of His greatness and then come back to our own baseness; by looking at His purity we shall see our foulness; by meditating upon His humility, we shall see how far we are from being humble.

This brings me back to the Interior Castle. I found this visualization particularly difficult because I was using St. Teresa suggestions of the castle to meditate and it wasn't working. I continued trying and praying on it and the answer was revealed. For a few years now (prior to me reading The Interior Castle") I have had a recurring dream about living in a huge white house with uncountable rooms in it. In the dream it is always dark outside and I am wandering the house looking at the rooms - some are appointed and decorated - some are not. Sometimes my whole family is in the house - meaning my family and my parents and brothers and sisters.

I am continually drawn to an entry door that is in disrepair and I am afraid someone will break in. I am acutely aware that someone or something is outside and just waiting to break in if I don't take measures to lock or bolster the entry way. There is always one room in the house that I perceive to be evil. When I pass by the room it feels like a strong magnet is pulling my entire body towards it and I immediately begin to recite the Hail Mary. Sometimes I am forcefully dragged into the room and I experience a powerful magnetic feeling - pressing in all over me - that is only relieved by praying the Hail Mary. I am terribly scared at first but I almost always surrender myself to the will of God and then I find myself out of the room.

"With regard to these first Mansions I can give some very useful information out of my own experience. I must tell you, for example, to think of them as comprising not just a few rooms, but a very large number. There are many ways in which souls enter them, always with good intentions; but as the devil's intentions are always very bad, he has many legions of evil spirits in each room to prevent souls from passing from one to another, and as we, poor souls, fail to realize this, we are tricked by all kinds of deceptions. The devil is less successful with those who are nearer the King's dwelling-place; but at this early stage, as the soul is still absorbed in worldly affairs, engulfed in worldly pleasure and puffed up with worldly honours and ambitions, its vassals, which are the senses and the faculties given to it by God as part of its nature, have not the same power, and such a soul is easily vanquished, although it may desire not to offend God and may perform good works. Those who find themselves in this state need to take every opportunity of repairing to His Majesty, and to make His blessed Mother their intercessor, and also His saints, so that these may do battle for them, since their own servants have little strength for defending themselves. In reality it is necessary in every state of life for our help to come from God. May His Majesty grant us this through His mercy. Amen.

So...This has been an enlightening experience for me. I can now more realistically visualize my "Interior Castle" and work through prayer, meditation and good works to journey through the castle to the center where Christ lives.

Advent Wreath Thanks

After a few hours of research and frustration, I think I have most of my original content back up here. I lost my Advent wreath and found the current one At Curt Jester! Thanks for that great looking wreath.

Second Sunday of Advent

Our God is coming. The time of exile - the long separation of humankind from God due to sin - is about to end. This is the good news proclaimed in today’s liturgy.

Isaiah in today’s First Reading promises Israel’s future release and return from captivity and exile. But as today’s Gospel shows, Israel’s historic deliverance was meant to herald an even greater saving act by God - the coming of Jesus to set Israel and all nations free from bondage to sin, to gather them up and carry them back to God.

God sent an angel before Israel to lead them in their exodus towards the promised land (see Exodus 23:20). And He promised to send a messenger of the covenant, Elijah, to purify the people and turn their hearts to the Father before the day of the Lord (see Malachi 3:1, 23-24).

John the Baptist quotes these, as well as Isaiah’s prophecy, to show that all of Israel’s history looks forward to the revelation of Jesus. In Jesus, God has filled in the valley that divided sinful humanity from himself. He has reached down from heaven and made His glory to dwell on earth, as we sing in today’s Psalm.

He has done all this, not for humanity in the abstract, but for each of us. The long history of salvation has led us to this Eucharist, in which our God again comes and our salvation is near. And each of us must hear in today’s readings a personal call. Here is your God, Isaiah says. He has been patient with you, Peter says in today’s Epistle.

Like Jerusalem’s inhabitants in the Gospel, we have to go out to Him, repenting our sins, all the laziness and self-indulgence that make our lives a spiritual wasteland. We have to straighten out our lives, so that everything we do leads us to Him.

Today, let us hear the beginning of the gospel and again commit ourselves to lives of holiness and devotion.

Dr. Scott Hahn at Salvation History

Refresh, Reinvigorate, Renew

If you haven't seen the movie Fireproof and you are married, I highly recommend it. As married couples we all have those desert moments. Your marriage is dry, there doesn't seem to be an oasis in sight and you just don't have the energy to keep looking for one. Maybe your spouse is not as responsive as you'd like. If you've ever used a cordless phone you might understand ..if you don't recharge it, it will shut down. Just like that phone, a marriage can and will shut down if both spouses don't take the time to recharge it.
You are moving along with your daily duties and responsibilities..your spouse is moving as well. Then a harsh word is spoken or a disagreement arises and the flood gates are opened. How long has it been since we had a chat about something other than the bills and the schedule? When did we last spend time together alone? Or go on a date? When was the last time we re-energized our marriage? You find that your battery has been slowing down for a long time and it has finally stopped. That harsh word, the aggravation or frustration you feel because your spouse has not come home on time for dinner or has put work before family. These are the alarms that go off just before the marriage shuts down. Just as the cordless phone beeps at you before it shuts off.
Well, in the movie, Kirk Cameron plays a man whose marriage is in peril, he is challenged to take The Love Dare. And now you can take it as well. Husband or Wife. Even if your marriage is at it's best I challenge you to take The Love Dare and refresh, reinvigorate and renew your marriage this Advent season.



The Love Dare

The Empty Basket

I read this on one of the yahoo groups I am part of. It's a good reminder this Advent Season to think of others instead of ourselves.

The Empty Basket

On March 9, 2007, I was in the supermarket in a rush to pick up six items I needed.
In a hurry, I enter the express lane; in front of me is a woman with one item, a bag of four pears. The cashier weighs them and the price comes up on the register. The woman looks at the price and questions the cashier because she had weighed them at the produce section and they weighed under a pound; here the pears weighed 1.44 pounds. The woman does not know what to do and just stands there. I am now getting agitated because at this point it appears she is giving the cashier a hard time over this minute item. The cashier again showed her the weight and price and asked her if shew anted to call the head cashier. She hesitated, just standing there. Finally in a harsh voice I said, "What IS the problem?" She said, "I need four pears to feed four people." At this point, I just wanted to cash out and leave so I told the cashier, "I will pay her bill" and took out cash from my wallet and paid the cashier. The woman said "No, I can't let you do that; I'm so embarrassed." I told her, "That's OK, I will pay the bill for you." She thanked me and when she was about to leave, she said, "Now I have enough to pay for my tea." She turned and left with her little bag of pears - fading out of sight.

I paid for my six items, got into my car and as I was starting to drive away, it all sank in. There it was; I didn't even see it. It became apparent to me, this woman did not have enough money to pay for what little she needed. All she had was one dollar. The pears were 99 cents a pound. While I was waiting in line for this woman in her indecision, she was looking at the items I was going to purchase. I now see she wished she could afford some of the groceries I had in my basket. There amongst them, was a box of tea that cost one dollar. I heard a voice in my heart, replaying what she had said, "Now I have enough to pay for my tea."

I saw this woman, but didn't see her. Where was I, not to see her dilemma? What was I thinking? On this day my compassionate heart failed me: I was too concerned and preoccupied with my own self. I should have done more, but didn't. I should have and would have - bu my impatience blinded my patience. A woman needed a loaf, and I gave her crumbs. An empty basket that could have been filled, but I was too busy filling my own basket instead of another.

n the days and weeks to follow, one word highlighted my thoughts: PATIENCE. How many times has this happened to others: caught in line, behind someone with some type of problem, something to detain us from our destination? What is it that makes us so impatient, so important, that we shut out those around us in need? I am very sad how this happened to me, but like a thief in the night, it found me, in an unguarded moment.

Each moment we have, possesses excitement to the next; each breath forecasts the potential for great things, great openings. For it is the hope of today which hangs for tomorrow. Every moment is a gift to the heart and soul, to excel in goodness and
grace. It is in St. Mark 6: 35 - 44, we find Jesus with such a dilemma, to feed five thousand people with five loaves and two fish. It is here after the Lord’s blessing, the five loaves and two fish are distributed among the five thousand people — feeding all. After they had eaten, twelve baskets of scraps of bread and pieces of fish were collected.

My prayer is to find this woman again, or someone like her, to offer my assistance to fill an empty basket, an empty heart, an empty life of despair. I will wait for her, and with patience, I will find her. For what I have, is not what I need — but the need that I have, is to fill an empty basket.
Robert J. Varrick
June 29, 2007